Just Do Something

Oct. 18, 2014
Back when I was at my early 20s, while at the review center for my board exam, the president used to tell us that we should get married while young, that is at early 20s. Because he got married at early 30s, he knows the disadvantages of prolonged singleness. He used to tell us that we should not be waiting until we become financially stable.

I didn't believe him back then. Now that I'm at my early 30s and financially stable to some degree, I'm starting to realize that he's right.

Just done reading today this book Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung. I like the way he tackled the troubles many young people are facing why they can't (or won't) do the transition from adolescence to adulthood at early 20s.


In 1964, the median age at first marriage was 22.8 for men and 20.6 for women. By 2002, a little more than a generation later, the median age for marriage rose to 26.9 for men and 25.3 for women. Only 46% of women completed these transitions by age 30 and 31% of men.

He gives us few reasons why young people is prolonging this season of being single, which he called "adultolescence". Some are waiting for financial stability. ?Most?is due to career goals. Men?are not confident enough to pursue the girl they like. While others are waiting for the "right one" which is called indecision.

It is possible that your unparalleled freedom to roam, experiment, learn (or not), move on, and try again has not made you wiser, cultured, or more mature. Perhaps your free spirit needs less freedom and more faithfulness. Maybe your emerging adulthood should... I dont know, emerge.

There are many negative effects of this extended adultolescence. Singles are more prone to sexual immoralities. And there is a growing number of single women longing for marriage, supposed to be raising kids in a family, yet found themselves pursuing a career, taking a master's or doctoral degree, and other things that can make them busy.

...the new generations enjoy "unparalleded freedom". Nothing is settled after high school or even college anymore. Life is wide open and filed with endless possibilities, but this sense of opportunity comes confusion, anxiety and indecision.

...I suspect that some stories would turn out differently if growing up happened sooner, and men were thinking seriously of marriage at 21 instead of 31.

One pastor once said that it doesn't matter if your're not financially ready, for as long as you can commit to work hard and provide for your future family.

Finally, I exhort the men reading this book to pray for wisdom (James 1:5-6), get a job, and get married. And do it sooner rather than later. To do so would be good for your sanctification, good for your purity, good for the church, and good for some godly woman out there who would be your wife, though she's probably already better than you deserve...

Update (2014-12-12): While I encourage my single readers to consider marriage at an early age, please don't rush into things.?Exercise patience and self-control.

by Noel Pure
I'm a Python web developer by profession and the author of Noel Codes and Ancient Views. I like coding and reading books, specially the Bible.